A new month is upon us again. April is here and may it bring us more opportunities to create special summer memories with our families, especially our children. May it bring us good health and well-being, and for busy mummas like myself, may it present more time for meditation and rest and relaxation.
I still owe you the draw for my January Giveaway and I do hope I can announce it before the week ends so I can host another giveaway soon! I wish all those who joined the best of luck and thank you for continuously supporting our blog and pages, even when the posts seem to have waned these past months. I do hope can I post updates here regularly from here on.
May this summer be a special one for you, mummas. I wish you all an awesome April!
A heart that’s broke is a heart that’s been loved…
Musing about this new song I heard for the first time today. I guess it is official, motherhood made me soft, allowing a poignant song to reduce me to tears {wait, I have been tearing up on beautiful songs ever since I can remember}.
The ballad sings of someone’s loss – his grandmother, and he sang it from the point of view of his mum. I guess this is why it struck a chord. I remember tearing up like this over his other ode, a song he made for his departed grandfather which reminds me so much of my parents who passed on a decade ago.
I was surprised that it has been that long. I remember the pain like they left yesterday. I feel the longing, the ache, the regrets, the tears, and the sorrow of words left unsaid fresh each time I awake. I remember the naivete of sincerely hoping that it was all a bad dream and they have just been gone for an early morning errand and would come back when we wake up the next day just like they always do.
I guess life has been busy and I somehow have mastered the art of being preoccupied, it was a fail-safe way to temporarily forget the heartbreak. But I guess I can only ignore it for too long. It has an uncanny way of creeping up when I am most vulnerable, like late at night when the world stands still but keeps nocturnals like me up with endless thoughts and generously-flowing creative juices. The loss and void was part and parcel of who I have become. I will carry it for as long as I live. Maybe on some days I can shrug it off, cheer myself, instead, with their fondest memories, but on other days, I guess the kindest thing to do is to let the pain engulf me and just cry it all out. I needed it to vent, I needed the tears to wash away the accumulated pains and hurts of the past 10 years living without the people I never imagined living without. It is unbearable to think that I will never get to see them again or hear their voices again, but I feel blessed that I see a glimpse of them in my siblings. I am thankful that even though I may not see my parents’ face again, I see their smiles in the eyes of my little one.
:film:video is from Ed Sheeran’s Official Youtube Channel