seeing my son for the first time

one-day old Jared

This is the beginning of the merry month of May + in celebration, one of my favorite memes, When Sahmone Speaks has this to say:

May is a special month for us Moms, Mother’s Day!. This is the time when most Moms are given tribute for all the hard work and patience extended to the family. Therefore, questions for this month will be relevant as to how Moms take care of the family and up to what extent. No worries, no difficult questions will be thrown.

And, so without further ado, here is the question for the week:

The moment you saw your first born, how did you welcome and embrace the changes, you, being a mom and home maker at the same time?

Looking back to my birthing day that was August 30, 2009, a Sunday + 2 days after my 30th birthday, I did not see my soon instantly after giving birth to him. I was groggy, to the point of falling asleep + as soon as I heard my son cried for the first time, I was off to oblivion. I don’t think the doctors who did the C-section on me even placed my son on my chest immediately after birth (+ I regret that the most!).

The moment I gained back consciousness, I was laying in my hospital bed with the same lab gown (I think) + a numb feeling in my tummy area. If I can recall it clearly, I saw my son the next day in the nursery (CS operation made me immobile + tied to the bed for awhile), prior to that, I only saw a photo of him courtesy of my sister’s mobile phone.

My son was so little + so red + I was thinking, so fragile. I was humbled by this magnificent gift of motherhood + if I begin to think about it, I’d always end up with no reason why I was entrusted with someone else’s life. I don’t have any special qualities, just your plain Jane, really.

I embrace the changes with arms wide open. Thinking that from then on I am no longer myself but someone’s mum, Jared’s mum. His needs will always precede mine from then on, my life will revolve around him 101%, + I shall be living the rest of my days being, or at least trying, a good mum to him.

Prior to motherhood, all those many years ago, I was actually the type who’s not too keen on changes, I love living in my little comfort zone, where everything is familiar + predictable. Any glitch that would stir my so-called order will irritate me + throw me off balance.

When motherhood came, changes + the unexpected came along with it, + I just simply grew into motherhood, growing into everything it entails as well. I cannot say that I’ve aced the first year with flying colors, but I do have my share of small victories + little defeats, too.

I guess being a mother + a home maker is something that every woman has in them by default, it is like a dormant volcano, raring to be heard! It is no easy feat, but I am trying my best every single day. Of course, it is also a lot of hard work, + sometimes I am so bone-tired + would be moving purely of adrenalin, but I welcome the change delightfully.

I am so used to being a mother + a home maker now, of course, much thanks to constant practice + the values that my parents taught me when I was young, I am slowly trying to master these arts. Although there are still some things I have to iron out + yet to perfect, like I still suck at cooking big time, + on occasions I’d long for the carefree + easy single life of old (when my busy mummy schedule allows me, that is!), or I’d still panic like crazy at little stuffs (like when Jared accidentally toppled his can milk over, spilling a bit of his powdered formula + I went into a fit!), but all in all, I think I am taking all this motherhood changes in stride, + so allow me to pat myself in the back, motherhood, anyway,  is the best job I’ve had! :)

Click the badge for  more ramdom mummy thoughts + also, Mommy Mitch came up with this brilliant ideas of featuring participants in her blog with the question they contributed. So don’t forget to check out Mommy Cielo in this week’s edition + do stay tuned for my entry next week ;)

When SAHMone SpeaksLove + Light,

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