Dearest Mama,
If you were still with us today you will be celebrating your 63rd today + I bet we will have a simple yet memorable celebration with all my siblings + your grandchildren. I bet you would have been thrilled to finally visit Baguio next month with your family. The what ifs are making my heart ache, ‘Ma, as well as all the possibilities, especially when concerning my little man. I was teaching him your names just the other day + he’s caught on quite easily. He was actually playing later that night talking to Mama Asion + Papa Narding on the “phonebox” {which is actually the broadband’s box} on the terrace, saying “see you later, bye!”. I told him you are in heaven + you are watching us everyday. + out-of-the-blue, he’d motion for the skies, mentioning your names. He is such an angel + I really wish that you were able to meet him.
It has been 5 years + 8 months, ‘Ma, I terribly miss you + I really, really miss being a daughter! I miss having someone to cheer me up + reprimand me if need be, + give me invaluable lessons about life. It is true what they say, no matter how old you grow + no matter where you are in life, you will never outgrow your need for your parents. + you will never recover from the loss of a loved one, not really. I guess, as years passes by, you somehow learn to tone down the pain, but it will never really go away, would it? Just like I couldn’t possibly finish writing a post such as this without shedding tears….
I love you always, ‘Ma, your memories + your love will be in my heart as long as I live. I am one of your many horcruxes + I will make sure to teach Jared more about you + Papa. Happy birthday! I know you are having a wonderful celebration up there. Until we meet again…
“Love is how you stay alive, even after you are gone.”