Remembering Our Dearly Departed Today

All Saints' Day, mum's thoughts, Mama, Papa, occasionsIt is our 7th year of observing All Saints’ Day without my parents and we shall be spending the day {mostly the later part of it till the night} at their resting place at the memorial. Very different from its usual peace and solemnity, our local memorial will be filled with people milling about, excited noise and chatter, kids playing with those light up toys tossing them here and there, but most importantly, the place will be filled with flowers, lit candles, and prayers for our dearly departed. I am sure that my Mama and Papa, along with the many souls whose remains lay in the memorial grounds, will be happy to be remembered and prayed for today.

I was not able to get those special candles which my Mama used to get for her parents and brother when she was alive, but I do hope she liked the green tea-scented we got for her and Papa, instead. I am sure she will also be delighted at the sight of the many tea candles we plan to light up today.

It will never be easy losing someone you love dearly, sure I lost my one and only tito when I was in kindergarten but I was too little to remember the loss now, whereas I will feel the loss of my parents every single day of my life, but to know that they are happily looking down on us from heaven, and that they are in a much better place now with our Creator, is more than enough consolation. I look forward to reuniting with them one day.

I hope you had a meaningful and safe day remembering and celebrating the lives of your dearly departed. Let us keep their memories alive by praying for their eternal repose and celebrating the life they led when they were still with us. Most of all, let us never cease to follow the invaluable lessons they taught us when they were still alive, let  us not stop  loving them, just like what my parent’s tombstone say:

“love is how you stay alive, 

even after you are gone.”  ~ Mitch Albom

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Happy 63rd Birthday ‘Ma!

Mama, mum's thoughts, family
the one-year old me with Mama

Dearest Mama, 

If you were still with us today you will be celebrating your 63rd today + I bet we will have a simple yet memorable celebration with all my siblings + your grandchildren. I bet you would have been thrilled to finally visit Baguio next month with your family. The what ifs are making my heart ache, ‘Ma, as well as all the possibilities, especially when concerning my little man. I was teaching him your names just the other day + he’s caught on quite easily. He was actually playing later that night talking to Mama Asion + Papa Narding on the “phonebox” {which is actually the broadband’s box} on the terrace, saying “see you later, bye!”. I told him you are in heaven + you are watching us everyday.  + out-of-the-blue, he’d motion for the skies, mentioning your names. He is such an angel + I really wish that you were able to meet him.

It has been 5 years + 8 months, ‘Ma, I terribly miss you + I really, really miss being a daughter! I miss having someone to cheer me up + reprimand me if need be, + give me invaluable lessons about life. It is true what they say, no matter how old you grow + no matter where you are in life, you will never outgrow your need for your parents. + you will never recover from the loss of a loved one, not really. I guess, as years passes by, you somehow learn to tone down the pain, but it will never really go away, would it? Just like I couldn’t possibly finish writing a post such as this without shedding tears….

I love you always, ‘Ma, your memories + your love will be in my heart as long as I live. I am one of your many horcruxes + I will make sure to teach Jared more about you + Papa. Happy birthday! I know you are having a wonderful celebration up there. Until we meet again…

“Love is how you stay alive, even after you are gone.”


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of valentines + leap years


That time flies is an overly used cliche, it’s as if we’ve just ushered in the New Year + now the first month came + gone with not as much as a puff + it will be Valentine’s in a few days! I bet there are only too few things that come to mind whenever we think of February, right? Leap years + Valentines!

Well, not that I am really that concern. Valentine’s is probably one of those occasions I do not normally celebrate + thoughts of receiving surprises + flowers would have to be suppressed until the little man is big enough to surprise me with them 🙂

I know loads of people out there won’t agree with me. If truth be told, most of them are actually waiting for this single day in the year when excessive PDA is allowed + wearing matching couple’s shirt in public is actually considered cute. While a lot of people will be out on a special-night-for-two, some might have been bitten by the love bug much earlier that they’d probably be planning to tie-the-knot very soon + are busy searching for wedding djs, instead.

As for me, this month is also the month we remember our dear Mama, who passed on five years ago on February 3, which also happens to be my sister Isabel’s birthday. + instead of searching for minneapolis wedding djs or the like, I will be in the memorial park, visiting my parents’ graves or at home cooped up with my little man on Cupid’s day.

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